Archive for September, 2008

Why do Autumn and I have this love/hate relationship? I love Fall. Leaves changing, colder weather, long sleeves. Fall hates me. Colds, sneezing, sore throats, body aches. And on top of that, I keep getting the FEELING that I need to throw up. But then nothing happens. I wish my body would just like.. do it already. I’d much rather go ahead and yarf instead of just feeling like I was going to.

I think my interview went well. I haven’t had a call back YET, but it’s only been three days. I would imagine they’d wait for a week day to actually call, so I might get one tomorrow. I HOPE I get one tomorrow. I’d really love to get out of my old job and in to something new. I’ve decided I’ll work one day a week at CB, just in case this job is only seasonal. With the economy and job market the way they are right now, I can’t afford to go one day without a job, so if something happened to this new one (should I get it) I need something to fall back on.

Oh, and back on the topic of me being sick… I’m fucking exhausted. I was falling asleep when Branden and I were watching tv at 9pm. I went to bed at 9:30. I layed in there for three and a half hours trying to fall asleep. Eyes closed, right on the edge of sleep… but then nothing happens. And I was awake the whole time sweating to death because my human heater was right next to me. (aka, Branden. Boy is hotter than anyone I know, temperature wise. lol.) I want to sleeeeeeeep, dammit!

I’m gonna go find something to eat, because I’m starved. I don’t want to eat anything, because my throat hurts, but my stomach is protesting that decision quite heartily.

Last night was so much fun. Branden and I had a teensy little dinner party. I made yummy pasta and salad, and Amanda & Alex came over. (Katie and John were supposed to come, too, but Katie is sick and thinks it might be mono again, so they didn’t want to risk it.) We ate and then played Scene It. Tons of fun!

I have pictures, but I look insanley fat in all of them. So, not gonna post them. lol. I’ve realized that I don’t like any photo of me that I didn’t take. Because I look fat when other people take the picture. I guess that’s because I AM fat, and I just don’t like feeling like I am. I’m taking the big step here… and I’m giving up soda. When I was in high school, I had MAYBE two sodas a day. I got my wisdom teeth out and was told to not have anything fizzy for at least a week, so I didn’t drink any sodas and lost about 10 pounds.

Now? I drink SIX OR SEVEN a day. I realize how ridiculous my Coca Cola addiction is. So with the 12 pack we have left, I’m weaning myself off them. I’ll replace the caffeine with tea, since I know I can’t go off caffeine entirely. If I don’t have any, my head hurts and I have to sleep the headaches off. Nothing else really helps them except sleep. (And I know this is caffeine withdrawl, I just have to SLOWLY wean myself off of it!)

I’m also going to make the commitment to exercise every night. I got the Carmen Electra strip tease collection last christmas and I’ve really only used the set twice. Right now it’s just taking up space, and I really need to be using it! You would not believe the great workout dancing is. I could feel it as I was doing it, that’s for sure!

And we all know exercise does nothing if you’re stuffing your face with McDonald’s all the time… so I’m not eating fast food anymore. AT ALL. It is bad for me, and I know it. And I need to get out of the habit of picking it up on my way home as opposed to actually cooking something. I’m thinking that exercising will give me more energy, so I’ll be able to cook, even on days I work late. (Speaking of work, I have an interview at a portrait studio today! yay!)

I’m limiting my eating out to Quiznos and Panda, and I’m going to try for less than once a month eating out. Branden and I are out of state all the time now, though, and eating out is somewhat inevitable on the weekends. I’m going to make healthier choices when we do go out, though. (We go out of state because Branden is recording with his band, and the studio is in Illinois. And on top of that, we’re going to Chicago Friday to see a commedian. AND, his parents are taking us out to Red Lobster on Saturday for Branden’s birthday. lol.)

Yeah, the basic summary of all of that is this: I’m going to change my eating habits, I’m going to exercise, and I’m not going to look fat in photos anymore. I’m making the commitment to make myself healthier and happier. (Forever and ever, Amen.)